Daddy's Hero

The Melissa Morris Story

Written by: John Layfield
December 13, 2004

The enclosed contents of this story are the personal property of John Layfield.
Any unauthorized reproduction, changes or alterations in any way without prior approval, is prohibited.

Melissa Jean Layfield was born on March 17, 1983 in a small South Western New York State town called Wellsville. When Melissa was six weeks old she wasn't acting quite right. She wasn't eating well, and began to look yellowish. My wife and I also had a three year old daughter Lynne, and Melissa wasn't acting or looking anything like Lynne did at that age. We took Melissa to the doctors for an evaluation. The doctors did several tests on Melissa and determined that what was wrong with her was something greater than anything that they had ever seen at our local hospital. Without wasting any time they transferred her to a hospital 115 miles away in Buffalo. Upon first arrival in Buffalo, the doctors determined that they knew she was having liver problems, though could not fully determine what was wrong. What they did know was that Melissa was born with a birth defect. Her diagnosis was called Biliary Atresia. Biliary Atresia had not been seen in very many patients. The few children that have been born this way required immediate liver transplants in order to survive. Melissa was not processing any bile from her liver, therefore, inhibiting her liver from working properly. Melissa was put on the liver transplant list, though no donor was available at that time.

The doctors suggested exploratory surgery on her liver to determine if Melissa's liver even had the necessary bile ducks to perform properly. With out any inside or outside bile ducks, her only option was a liver transplant. Once they began to work on her liver they found inside bile ducks and began to take slivers of liver away until they got a good out going flow of bile. Once they established a constant flow of bile they attached her intestines to her liver and her liver began to work properly. This method of treatment was called the Kasai Procedure. This procedure was invented in Japan and had only been performed on five other patients in the world. This surgery was performed only to help Melissa obtain acceptable liver functions until a new liver could become available.

Almost immediately after surgery Melissa began to look better. She regained the whites of her eyes that had been yellow, and her cheeks started to become a rosy pink color. Our prayers seemed to have been answered until Melissa began to fall ill again. She had developed an infection that lasted almost two months. After multiple antibiotics, the doctors suggested that they go back in and recheck the procedure. During the surgery they found a small gal stone that had become lodged and was plugging off the flow of bile. Once the stone was removed Melissa's infection went away and she was able to come home from the hospital. Because this procedure was experimental, the doctors didn't know how Melissa would do with the results of the surgery. Melissa's mother learned how to take care of her medical needs at home. Melissa thrived under the love and support of her family. After two years and numerous trips back and forth to Buffalo to be reviewed and evaluated, the doctors finally agreed that she was doing extremely well and may be able to live her life without the liver transplant. Melissa stayed on the Pittsburgh liver transplant list in case of an emergency.

As Melissa grew older, she became stronger. When she was still young we would make her wear a body protector to keep her liver safe from damage. She excelled in spite of this. When she started kindergarten she immediately showed us all just how smart and special she was. Growing up with two sisters and learning all the wonderful things that little girls learn. Melissa learned to understand and accept her birth defect, although she didn't let it get in her way of living life. She loved her family and lived her life to the fullest.

Melissa was a young girl who learned very early in life the things that mattered most. Throughout school Melissa worked hard to get good grades, she attended church with her family, played sports, and spent a lot of time with her two sisters and she loved to help others. Melissa had many dreams to fulfill after she graduated high school in June of 2001. One of Melissa biggest dreams was to marry her boyfriend of three years, Todd Morris. On July 7, 2001, just fifteen days after graduating high school, Todd and Melissa were married in Scio, NY.

Almost immediately Melissa talked about having a baby, but decided to wait. Melissa loved to help other people, so she enrolled into a two year LPN course that she graduated from in the spring of 2003. After that, Melissa applied and was accepted into the Alfred State College Nursing Program. After completing one year, Melissa told me that she really wanted to have a baby and could continue school later. Along with her husband, we encouraged her to meet with her doctors and specialist to determine the effects of her getting pregnant. After several appointments, tests and months of waiting, the doctors concluded that she appeared healthy enough to have a baby. Her liver functions were good and strong, and her platelets looked good.

After church on Fathers Day, Sunday June 20, 2004, Todd and Melissa came to my home and informed me, not only that she was going to have a baby, but that I was going to have to get used to being called Grandpa. We were all thrilled. I was so happy for her because I knew how badly she had wanted to be a mother. Melissa went to the doctors the next day and found out that she was about six weeks pregnant. After a full examination both Melissa and the baby were fine. Melissa wanted to keep a journal for the baby. She started her journal on June 20, 2004 and tried to write what she could. Her journal entries are talking to the baby.

From Melissa's Journal: 6 Weeks, 2 Days Pregnant

June 20th Fathers Day! 2004

Today me and Daddy found out you were coming. It is the happiest day of both our lives...

Melissa worked at a local hospital as an LPN, and would often complain about the morning sickness and heartburn. She was having trouble every couple of days and also had determined that she had been having similar problems since before she became pregnant. She just figured that the pregnancy was making her stomach ache worse. Keeping food down was near impossible. At 12 weeks pregnant, Melissa went up to Buffalo to be checked out by the doctor and found out that her liver had become inflamed and her liver levels were elevated. This was due to a small blockage in the liver. The doctor gave her some medication to help the blockage and gave her a note to stop working until the blockage was gone, then he sent her home. Melissa's stomach still continued to get upset at different times during the day. At 15 weeks pregnant, Melissa got worse. We took her back to Buffalo to be checked. At this time her liver functions were quite bad and she couldn't keep any food or liquid down. Melissa was very dehydrated and needed to stay in the hospital, so the doctors put her on IV fluids and potassium.

On August 21, 2004, I drove up to Buffalo to visit Melissa. When I got there, Melissa was very upset and crying. She told me about the options that had been given to her. She said that the doctors told her that if she continued with the pregnancy, that she could be putting her life in danger. Melissa told me that she had absolutely no intentions to terminate the pregnancy for any reason. I just held my baby girl and told her that I was behind her completely in her decision. I told her that she could fight this and get better just like she did when she was little.

The doctor came in and talked to us about the problems and quality of life during pregnancy for Biliary Atresia patients. She said that most patients with Biliary Atresia don't usually reach adulthood without a liver transplant. The risk of having a baby are high because of several things that could go wrong during the pregnancy. Melissa's liver could begin to deteriorate because of the stress and fatigue from the baby. Melissa was also in danger of having her esophageal varices hemorrhage. The doctor gave me some information that concluded that a Biliary Atresia patient who achieves a good course of liver functions and has had no problems before pregnancy can deliver without any complications. Although, a high percentage of women who have had normal liver functions prior to becoming pregnant, often achieve liver dysfunction at some point during the pregnancy. No one had any idea of how Melissa's body would react to becoming pregnant. The doctors again highly suggested, for Melissa's well being, that the baby be aborted. When Melissa again made it clear that she was not going to terminate the pregnancy, they decided that the best place for Melissa would be in a Rochester hospital. The doctors explained that Rochester would be better equipped to handle both her and the baby as high risk patients. The only current problem was that this particular hospital did not have an available bed on the High Risk OB Floor. Melissa would have to stay in the hospital until she could be transferred.

From Melissa's Journal: 15 Weeks, 1 Day Pregnant

August 21, 2004

They are sending me because Buffalo they said is more high risk for the Baby "you" and Rochester is more high risk for both of us. They are concerned about my enzyme levels coming back up. They told me and daddy if they did our options are either take a risk and try to make it to 24 weeks and take you early or just take you - well Mommy promises nothing will happen to you. We love you so much!

From Melissa's Journal: 15 Weeks, 2 Days Pregnant

August 23, 2004

9:00am - My IV infiltrated again so I have to have it reinserted yet again... No IV fluids today though so far, they are going to just put in a Heplock till I get to Rochester, which I am suppose to be definitely going today. I feel good today...They came to listen to your heartbeat a little while ago. I love you so much; you are one of the things that makes all of this pain and frustration worth it and of course your daddy. I just want to feel better and go home... I've been praying...

11:30 - Mommy is so happy I may go home today (smiley face)...I really hope they send me home...

4:30pm - I'm going home (smiley face) Daddy and Grandma Layfield are on their way to get me, they should be here by 7:00 or so.

Todd and Melissa made an appointment in Rochester with a GI specialist for Wednesday August 25 th . I went up to Rochester with them to help give the doctor background information on Melissa. On the way up, we stopped for breakfast. Not ten minutes after we ate, Melissa got sick in the car. She told me that it seemed like she couldn't process anything in her stomach. Once we got to the doctors office, Melissa seemed better. The doctor was very informed and well prepared. He did a full examination and scheduled blood work, then set Melissa up with a high risk OB doctor in Rochester.

From Melissa's Journal: 17 Weeks, 2 Days Pregnant

September 5, 2004

Mommy has not wrote in quite a while I know. I haven't been feeling well.  Right now I am at Rochester Hospital . I have been here since Monday ... 6 days so far. They tell me I will probably be able to go home on Wednesday. I hope so I miss home...When I came here I had lost 20 lbs. I was severely dehydrated and I was in pain and very weak... I had another ultrasound done. This time you were all sprawled out so you looked much bigger. Still too early to tell what you are. They said next week we should know. I can't hardly wait. I'm so curious. Great Grandma Layfield thinks you will be a boy. Grandma Layfield thinks you are a girl. I don't care as long as you're healthy. I just can't wait till you're here. I want to see you so badly.

After Melissa was admitted into the Rochester Hospital, the doctors did a variety of different test. One test was an endoscopic variceal exam. They put the scope down her throat to see how her varices were. They looked fine. But while they were looking, the doctors found an ulcer at the end of her stomach. The doctors put her on antibiotics and told her that the ulcer might explain all the stomach pain.

September 5, 2004 cont...

Mommy's blood work looks much much better. One of mommy's enzymes went from being 1,045 which is supposed to be 126 (or less) now it is at 424, which is still high, but what a change, some of them are almost normal (smiley face)"God is Amazing" That's all I have to say. Prayers really help. Mommy has been thru a lot, IV's and blood work, and test and loneliness and being sick... Grandpa Layfield listened to your heartbeat, it brought a big smile to his face. Everyone who came today heard it too. Mommy and Daddy showed everyone your new pictures... Everyone is helping out me and Daddy so much. It is so nice to have such great friends and family. You will be so loved and I'm sure so spoiled. I just can't tell you enough how important it is to have God in your life. He does such wonderful things. I'm very lucky to have had parents who brought me to know him. Mommy brought Daddy to know him and he was baptized by Uncle Glen before we got married. Mommy and Daddy love you so...much. You have made us so happy and full of hope. We love you...

September 6, 2004

"Hi Mommy's baby" I'm so happy. I may be going home tomorrow (smiley face) instead of Wednesday. And my labs have dropped even more... Everyone is real happy I'm coming home. Especially Daddy. I just want everything to stay this way at home so I can enjoy carrying you and being pregnant because I always said I would love being pregnant and love to have a baby...We are just so lucky that God has blessed us with you and that everything with mommy is heading in a better direction than it was. We were very worried for you and me. I just am so grateful to God and everyone who's been praying for us. We love you so very much and can't wait till you're here... Today mommy is 17 weeks 3 days, I have heard your heartbeat lots of times and every time brings a smile to my face...We love you.

Melissa was able to go home that week. When she got home, she tried to get back into her routine, although it wasn't but a couple of days and she started getting sick and she would vomit everything that she tried to eat. Melissa had lost twelve pounds and continued to get dehydrated. With in five days of coming home from the hospital, Todd had to take her back up to Rochester and she was readmitted to the hospital.

On September 20, 2004, Melissa had an ultrasound done on the baby. That's when she and Todd found out they were having a boy. They named him Garrett Dean Morris. Everyone was very happy for them.

Because Melissa still couldn't keep food down, the doctors put her on IV fluids. Melissa had another endoscopic test done which showed that the ulcer was getting worse. Melissa's ulcer was located near the opening in her stomach that allows the food to flow through to the intestines. After several tests the doctors could see that Melissa wasn't digesting any food from her stomach. Whenever Melissa ate anything the ulcer would become irritated and not allow the food to pass through. This would cause her to become nauseous and she would vomit. Because the ulcer wasn't healing on antibiotics, the doctors' only option was to perform a surgery that would give Melissa another opening in her stomach. This would allow the food to pass through the new opening and hopefully allow the ulcer to heal. The surgery was agreed upon and scheduled for Monday September 27, 2004.

September 24, 2004

... I am having surgery this Monday, which Grandpa and Grandma Layfield and Daddy will all be here for. They are going to relocate my stomach opening because they don't think this ulcer is ever going to heal on its' own or with the medications they have been giving me. I'm very scared, but with them here I will feel less scared. I just want the pain to go away and be able to eat and enjoy my time with you more. I love you to pieces... I just keep praying we are both safe...We love you...

September 25, 2004

Hi mommy and daddy's sweet little boy! We love you...I love your daddy so much, I feel so blessed to have him and will feel even more blessed to have the both of you. Tomorrow daddy's coming to stay so he can be here in the morning for my surgery...I just keep thinking this surgery is going to make everything better and I can go home and I feel safe knowing everyone's praying and that God's here with me...

September 26, 2004

Last night I swore I felt you kick for the first time, but I'm not sure. I know in my books it said anywhere from 18 wks to 24 wks, and it gets stronger every week so maybe the stronger it gets the more noticeable it will be for me. Tomorrow is mommy's surgery. I'm very nervous for the both of us. I feel bad because I feel like I have put you through so much in these last couple months. I should say my body has. I love you so much. I will feel so much better when you are here and I feel normal again.

The following morning Melissa was scheduled to have the stomach surgery done. On Sunday evening August 26 th, while Melissa was still alone in her room, she picked up her journal and wrote her final entry into her journal, to her husband:

September 26, 2004 - To Daddy -

I know it is silly to write this. I am sure I will be fine during surgery but unexpected things happen and I would have regretted not to say this if something did. I just want to tell you how much I love you and how much you and this baby mean to me. You have made me so happy. The best husband and the best friend I've ever had. Nothing more on this earth could ever mean more to me than you. You were truly my soul mate. Promise me that if anything ever happened to me, you would be strong and in the future marry again to someone that won't get upset when you mention me, someone who will treat you good; the way you deserve. Promise you will stay close to my family and go to church. Don't ever forget about God, because he will be the one who will help you with the pain and someday we will meet again in Heaven. This letter is not only aimed towards the surgery, but incase anything bad is to go wrong later. If Garrett makes it be sure you tell him how much I wanted him and loved him and let him read this journal on his 13th birthday. At that age he will understand it more and take good care of it. It will hurt not to be with you both, but you are going to be an excellent father. One of the Greats! I love you (both) very much. -Melissa

At 20 weeks and 3 days pregnant, on September 27, 2004 Melissa headed down for stomach surgery. By her side were her husband Todd, her mother Amy and myself. We were all nervous about the surgery, though the doctors kept telling us that everything was going to be fine. Around 11:30am the surgeon came out and told us that the surgical portion of the procedure went very well, however, while they operating they found a few small tumors on Melissa's stomach lining, a biopsy concluded without doubt that Melissa had cancer. They had also assumed at that time, that the ulcer was also cancerous, although the doctors were unclear about the origin of the cancer. At first prognosis and without doing any further tests, they determined that Melissa may only have a few months to live without immediate treatment.

After Melissa came up from recovery and was awake enough to talk to us, she started to cry, when I asked her why she was crying, she just said that she was so happy that she woke up from surgery and that Garrett was fine. My insides just wrenched with pain to know that her tears of joy would only be short lived, because she had to be told about the cancer. We waited a few hours until her sisters could get to the hospital. I also called my brother Glen who is our pastor at our local church of Christ. When her family had gathered around her we all talked and prayed for comfort. While we were waiting for the doctor to come in and explain in more detail the results from the surgery, Melissa asked for an OB doctor to come up and check on the baby. Melissa was so happy to hear the baby's heartbeat. We all gathered near her, sharing in her tears of joy for her unborn child, while we waited for the doctor to come and deliver the difficult news to Melissa.

The surgeon finally came into her room to explain to Melissa and the rest of us what his findings were. He told us that he believed that Melissa could have had the cancer for years, or that she may have just formed the tumors within the last couple years or even months. He explained that because there was a constant flow of bile into her intestines, this could be the probable cause of the cancer. However, with out more testing they couldn't be quite sure. What they did know was that Melissa was a rare and special case. Because Melissa was one of the longest living recipients of the Kasai Procedure, and did not have a liver transplant, they would now be able to chart the results of long term living patients who do not receive a liver transplant. They told us that Melissa is a pioneer in this field of medicine and would greatly benefit thousands of other patients who are in need of this similar procedure.

After the first initial shock of what the doctor had said sunk in, Melissa looked at each of us and then as wide eyed and with as much courage as any person I had ever seen, asked the doctor, "How do I fight the cancer"? The doctor replied that she had several options that they would discuss later. Right now she had to rest and heal. The doctor explained that she couldn't do anything for three weeks after major surgery because she had to give her body time to recover. Melissa was ready to start fighting the cancer that minute so that she could continue on with the pregnancy and move forward. Melissa was the type of person who could find hope in any situation. If there was a way to get through this she was ready to find it. Waiting didn't seem like a good option to her, but she knew she needed to regain her strength in order to survive this.

Over the next couple of days to weeks, Melissa struggled with intense pain from the surgery. Her incision had become infected and she had constant pain in her back. She also was struggling with eating and trying to regain her strength. She had retained a lot of fluid buildup and that made it difficult for her to get into and out of bed. She had so much fluid in her legs that it hurt her to be touched or to move. She knew she had to build up her immune system that was depleted from the surgery, but she also knew she had to stay focused on one thing, God. She looked forward to her weekly visits with her Uncle Glen, the pastor. Together Melissa, Todd and Glen would read the bible and prayed constantly for guidance and faith to stay strong through this new trial in her life.

During this time Todd was staying at the hospital full time. Melissa was given a private room and this allowed for Todd to stay with her. Todd's strength was unyielding for Melissa. Todd would keep me up to date each day when I couldn't be at the hospital, which was about 125 miles from my home. I would visit three to four times a week. On one of my visits to the hospital a group of doctors came to talk with Melissa. They had asked me to leave the room. Without knowing what unit they were from and not knowing why I was asked to leave the room I did for Melissa's privacy. After about fifteen minutes the doctors came out of the room and I went back in. Melissa was sitting up in bed crying. I went to her and asked what had happened. She said nothing. I looked at Todd. He then told me that the doctors were from the encology and pain management department. I was worried that something more was found out about her progression of the cancer. Todd told me that wasn't the case. He told me that they were here to discuss with her again about aborting the baby so that they only had to deal with one patient instead of two. They told her that she could still abort the baby because she was ONLY 22 weeks pregnant. She could abort the baby up to 24 weeks legally. Todd also informed me that this wasn't the first time they had come in and suggested aborting the baby to Melissa. Different units of doctors had been coming in quite often since her surgery. Almost every day, Todd said. Melissa told me that she kept telling them that she had no intentions of aborting Garrett and she asked them to stop asking her about it, but they still kept coming in to get "formal statements" they said. That was about all I needed to hear. I left the room and found the group of doctors near the nurses' station. I told them who I was and asked them which doctor was in charge. A man stated that he was the one in charge of Melissa case. I asked him if he had just had a discussion about abortion with Melissa. He said yes and started to go on about the statistics of treatment and the complications of treatments while she was pregnant. He told me that they could start treatment sooner, if she wasn't pregnant. I told them that the one cancer doctor told us that she couldn't have treatments until three weeks after surgery which would make her almost 24 weeks pregnant anyhow and that she needed to be much stronger to have the treatment. The baby could be delivered at 24 weeks if needed, so why would they keep pressuring her to abort now when she was almost 24 weeks pregnant. Also to my knowledge the doctors still hadn't done any follow up test, such as CAT scans or MRI's to check on the progression and the origin of Melissa's cancer. I was disappointed, hurt and confused by their constant efforts to take this little life. I did everything I could not to physically harm the guy, but did make him aware that my daughter and her husband were not going to abort their baby for any reason. If I found out that anyone else even so much as thinks about mentioning it to them again, I would be contacting my attorney. As I walked away from this group of doctors and nurses I couldn't help but think of how little they valued Garrett's life. I would do anything to keep Melissa safe and help her heal. But murdering Garrett was not something anyone in my family could ever think about doing. It was not an option. In the midst of her illness and extreme pain, my daughter continued to fight for both her life and her unborn son's life. I had always seen Melissa as my little hero, but at that time in her life, she was also showing everyone else just how strong and committed she was to her family, to Garrett and to God.

Within days I received a phone call and was asked to come up for a meeting with several doctors' and nurses to discuss Melissa's care. During the meeting the doctors said that because Melissa refused to abort the baby, that every doctor and nurse involved in Melissa's case would come together to help Melissa continue with her pregnancy to the best of their abilities. Finally we got through to them that we were dealing with two lives, not just one. Pain management was extremely helpful in trying to keep her as comfortable as possible. She was still having a lot of back pain. Melissa was concerned about the amount of morphine she was taking to help with the pain. She didn't want it to harm Garrett. Also the morphine was causing problems with her ability to eat and process the food through her intestines. The morphine had essentially shut down her bowels, therefore making it necessary for Melissa to stay on IV fluids.

The anesthesiologist suggested that we try an epidural to numb the pain in her mid- section. They said that she would still be able to walk around. They said that the epidural would help ease most of her pain. At 22 weeks 5 days pregnant, Melissa got an epidural put into her back. I went up to visit her two days later on Friday October 15 th . I wanted her to get out of her room for awhile. She agreed to let me take her for a ride in the wheelchair. I remember it was still very warm for this time of year, so we went outside and sat for a while. She kept telling me that her back hurt really bad. At this point Melissa had been in the hospital for almost seven weeks. During the entire time Melissa has had to lie on her back to be the most comfortable. She couldn't lay any other way because her incision from the surgery was still painful and not healing very well. This being the case I told her that maybe her back hurt because of how she had been laying for so long. I also reminded her that she had never been pregnant before and that women have some back pain while they are pregnant. After we went back to her room, she wanted to use the bathroom and then get back into bed. Before she got into bed she asked me to look at the site of the epidural in her back. She said that it felt hot and swollen and she wanted me to make sure everything looked ok. I looked at her back and saw the point where the epidural entered her back. It looked red, swollen and it looked infected to me. But what did I know, right? She said that she had been laying on a heating pad, so maybe that was why it looked red and swollen. Todd and I agreed that even though she may have been using a heating pad, her back still looked infected. We called the nurse to get the anesthesiologist to look at it. The anesthesiologist came into the room and after a quick look at her back; he told us that it was fine. He'd have someone else check it in the morning. Saturday morning Todd called me and told me that the epidural was definitely infected and they had to remove it. They put Melissa back on the morphine drip for pain.

By Monday afternoon, Melissa had developed such an intense infection that it caused her body to go into contractions. Melissa called me and told me that they were able to stop the contractions with Magnesium Sulfate. The Magnesium Sulfate worked some but made Melissa very nauseous. They couldn't give her anything else because it would be to harmful for her liver. Tuesday afternoon I headed up to the hospital to see her. All the OB doctors were so wonderful with Melissa. They told her that if she could stay comfortable and keep the contractions at bay for a few more days, she would be 24 weeks pregnant on Friday. They also wanted Melissa to try to take it day by day to help Garrett gain more weight. They explained to her that the date was important, but his body weight was even more important. They wanted him to be over one pound at birth. Melissa agreed that it was important to hold off as long as possible.

It had been three weeks since Melissa's surgery and the doctors' still hadn't done any further testing on the progression of Melissa's cancer. Before I left Tuesday night, I told Melissa how proud of her I was of her and encouraged her to continue to keep her faith. Melissa agreed that she was praying for God's will and that she was going to try to be as strong as possible, for everyone.

On Thursday October 21, 2004, I received a phone call from the hospital that Melissa had started to dilate and the contractions were closer and getting stronger. The doctor told me that they could not stop the contractions this time. They hoped for more time, but it was apparent that she was going to deliver the baby sometime soon. When I arrived at the hospital Melissa was resting. She woke up when I got there and told me that she was going to have the baby soon. Melissa's mother and Todd had been staying with her and doing their best to keep her calm. I could tell that my little girl was scared. I told her that her sister's, and her Uncle Glen were on their way also to be with her. Within an hour of her family showing up she started having very hard contractions. Very shortly after that she delivered Garrett Dean Morris. There must have been thirty people in the room with us. Melissa's OB doctors and several Neonatal doctors were present to help out. After I knew that Melissa was doing fine, I went over to where the doctors were looking after Garrett. As I looked into the eyes of one of the finest baby doctors in the world, I knew that without words, there wasn't anything that could be done for Garrett.

The doctors explained that Garrett was alive, although he was very small and only weighted 15oz. They explained that by Garrett being so small that any life saving efforts would only cause more harm and pain to him, than would do any good. I cried. I wanted them to do something for him, but I understood what they were telling me. He looked so perfect and so very innocent. I held him and kissed him and when I did his tiny body moved in my large hands. I had never seen anything so small or precious, or so fragile before in my life. I prayed for him and told him that he has a wonderful mommy and daddy. I told him that his mommy did everything she could to keep him safe. I reassured him that soon he would be in the hands of God. For the two hours of Garrett's life, he was held by everyone in the family, including his mommy. We all hugged him, kissed him, and loved him for a lifetime.

Later after Garrett passed away, Melissa called me to her; she took my hand and said "I'm sorry Dad". I responded to her by telling her that she didn't have anything to be sorry about, that she did everything she could do for Garrett, and that she will always be daddy's hero.

Over the next two weeks, Melissa's demeanor started to became worse. Her spirit was broken. She wanted Garrett to survive so badly. She had difficulty grieving the loss of her baby. Her health was also failing fast. She had developed a blood infection and needed several blood transfusions. Her immune system became fatal and her liver functions got much worse. She knew that she had to try to fight to get better. Each time I visited her, she appeared to be trying to climb a wall that kept getting higher. I was torn because I needed and wanted to be with her constantly. I knew that she needed her family now more than ever, but it was so hard living so far away. I talked to the doctors about transferring her closer to home. I thought that she could get whatever treatment she needed right here in a local hospital.

On Thursday November 4, 2005, the doctors arranged a meeting with the family. At the meeting the doctor's told us that Melissa's immune system was gone. Her liver was not functioning very much at all. When we asked about the cancer, they told us that treating the cancer wasn't even an issue right now. Without a working immune system, Melissa couldn't fight her current infection or tolerate cancer treatments. Amy, Melissa's mother asked how long they figured Melissa had to live. With great pain in the doctor's voice, he told us that she possibly only had days to live. Amy wanted to know how soon we could get her home. I wanted to take her home that night, but the doctors had to get everything set up for the transport.

By 1:30pm Friday November 5 th , Melissa was home. The family decided that the best place for Melissa and Todd to stay was at Melissa's mother's downstairs apartment. I went over to meet them and learned that Melissa wanted to go shopping at the local store. So I went with them to the store and got her the store's powered wheelchair. Melissa was thrilled to be out of the hospital. She shopped for an hour and then became very weak, so we took her back to the apartment. She rested for awhile, and then later got up for dinner. On Saturday Melissa wanted to go shopping again. Todd and her sisters took her shopping again. While Melissa was home, she began to eat more than she had in the hospital. She started to look better, but was still in constant pain and very weak. She would visit with family and talked endlessly about anything that came to mind. On Sunday Melissa took another trip out. She wanted to go to her and Todd's house. She wanted to get a change of clothes for Todd, and to see her home again, a place she hadn't been to in months. She enjoyed getting out and going for a ride in the car. Monday Melissa was very weak. She ate a little, but told her younger sister, Amber, that she just wanted to rest. She sat on the couch and visited with family as much as she could. In between visits she would rest as much as possible.

On Tuesday November 9, 2004, I was working at my business when my oldest daughter, Lynne, called me and said "Dad come over right away". I drove the seven miles praying with everything that I had in me, that this was not the end. When I got to Melissa's side, I laid my head down beside her head and held her in my arms. I just continually said over and over again, "I love you Melissa... I love you so much". I just wanted for her to not go away. I wanted so badly for her not to die. As the warmth of her body was leaving her, I prayed to God to keep her close. Even though my emotions were running wild, I knew without a doubt in my mind that Melissa and Garrett were no longer in pain and they were now peacefully wrapped in God's loving arms.

Over the last couple of weeks since Melissa's death, I have found comfort in the closeness of my family and in prayer. I have been through some tough times in my life, but nothing like this. With each hardship I have known that God was at work. His will be done. Even with Melissa's diagnoses of cancer, I knew that whatever the outcome, it would be God's will. I prayed for God's will and for him to give me the strength to deal with whatever his will was. Although, I must admit that after seeing my young, beautiful daughter slip away from me so easily, I questioned God. I questioned that if during my lifetime on earth if I would ever learn the reasons for her death. I thought that it would take for me to stand before God in Heaven and have him show me the reasons. But now that I have written this story, I can see God revealing the answers before my eyes. In scripture it says that Jesus would have come and sacrificed himself if only to save just one person. I believe that there is a powerful message of human sacrifice in this story driven by God. I will always miss my daughter and wish that she were still here with me, but now I can see God's work unfolding. Back when Melissa had her first surgery when she was an infant, God was at work. God could have taken her home then, but he didn't. He gave her to us to love. God allowed Melissa to live so that she could be a granddaughter, a sister, a wife, a mother and an outstanding daughter. Melissa's exceptional life as one of the longest living Biliary Atresia patients in the world; will be long remembered and studied with the intentions to help thousands of other patients. Melissa's final life experience as a young devoted mother, who didn't give up on her faith in the midst of a terrible situation, should be an inspiration to every other person in the world. As for me, I will always continue to live God's will and I will always hold Melissa dear to my heart for she will always be Daddy's hero.